A Year That Answered

| LOCATION: Alive and happy on the corner of 3rd and N Street |

Six years ago.

Moments like this saved my life. It’s a simple picture with the biggest loss of my life happening like a raging underground river barely beneath a very thin surface.

We think we know who we are, what we are doing, where we are heading…

But what we know is just the safe zone we call “right now.” We can pretend we are one thing. We can try valiantly to remain who we think we are. We can be so clear on where our life is taking us or where we want to go.

We are not a book to read the same stories out of to ourselves at bedtime. Even our history changes as we change.

The truth is, life is a mystery living itself out from inside our bodies and souls. Simultaneously heartbreaking and exultant, the victor and the loser.

We are all blind authors.

Zora Neale Hurston wrote, “There are years that ask questions, and years that answer.”

Rilke wrote, “Learn to love the questions, and live them…perhaps someday you will find yourself living into the answers”

I love the woman named Carmell sitting here in this sunny Sunday morning bed, and looking back at my own tragedy beneath the surface of six interminably short years.

I am sure that is an answer.