{"id":8082,"date":"2021-11-20T20:13:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-20T20:13:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/?p=8082"},"modified":"2021-12-29T20:24:29","modified_gmt":"2021-12-29T20:24:29","slug":"building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Connection, not Conflict in Holiday Gatherings"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

It\u2019s the classic joke, isn\u2019t it.\u00a0 The relationship dramas that hit the headlines during holiday gatherings?<\/p>

\u201cThere are some things we can change, and some we can\u2019t,\u201d we tell ourselves.\u00a0 And even if we\u2019re not the praying type, we send up our desperate appeals to all the gods that may be, that this time will be different, will be better.<\/p>

Outside of actual divine intervention, I\u2019m interested in what we ourselves can do to make our own experience better.\u00a0 And perhaps even make it better for others.<\/p>

One of my favorite mantras:\u00a0 I can\u2019t change others.\u00a0 But I can change myself.\u00a0 And if I change, everything changes.<\/p>

\"\"<\/a><\/p>

Here\u2019s my Top 10 List for Making Your Holiday Gathering the Best It Can Be!<\/strong><\/span><\/p>

  1. Give yourself the freedom to not go\/not host.<\/strong>
    There\u2019s nothing that undermines our happy place faster than feeling we have to do something we dread or hate.\u00a0 By giving yourself permission to not go or not host, you have the opportunity to clean out your own emotional blackmailing of yourself, and to let go of what doesn\u2019t work for you.\u00a0 Then you are freed up to have and do what really brings you joy in your holiday!

    Don\u2019t fill your precious time with \u201chave-to\u2019s!\u201d\u00a0 Plus, it\u2019s always amazing how everyone else feels a sense of relief when we have the guts to go first, and pull out of the obligation we feel\u2013no more emotional blackmail.<\/p><\/li>

  2. Consider why you\u2019re going\/hosting, and only be authentic with yourself.<\/strong>
    If your going\/hosting isn\u2019t for reasons of your heart, consider not doing the event.\u00a0 Or change your heart so you can be sincere and authentic with yourself.

    Even if it is good or important to go\/host, you should never do it if you aren\u2019t clear in your own heart about it.\u00a0 So much drama happens when we do things we aren\u2019t 100% authentic and sincere about.\u00a0 So your choices are to pull out, or to work on that change of heart and motivation in order to get yourself fully sincere in what you\u2019re going to do.\u00a0 (See the rest of this list for help)<\/p><\/li>

  3. If you feel you\u2019re stuck with the gathering this late in the game, then don\u2019t be a complainer\u2013\u00a0If you\u2019re going to do it, Choose All-In.<\/em><\/strong>

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>In other words:\u00a0 Don\u2019t be a damn victim crybaby.\u00a0 I have a motto I put in place for myself many years ago.\u00a0 If I am going to do something, it is 100% my choice.\u00a0 Even if I hate it.\u00a0 I have no one else to blame since it\u2019s my choice.\u00a0 The up-side of this is that I am never a victim of what I do or don\u2019t do\u2013because it\u2019s my choice.\u00a0 It is amazing how much better we can feel in nearly\u00a0any<\/em>situation, when we know we made the choice ourselves.\u00a0 If you\u2019re going to do it, choose it!<\/li>

  4. Process on your hot-button topics\u00a0before<\/em>the gathering.<\/strong>
    Are you telling negative stories or positive ones?\u00a0 Are you setting yourself up for a Mt. Vesuvius-scale family eruption, or are you actively planning for fun and connection?\u00a0 Though it\u2019s not all in your hands (or on your shoulders, for that matter), you can figure out your own hot-button topics before the event.\u00a0 Then do some serious processing work on them so they become more neutral to you.

    Ex:\u00a0 If you know you\u2019re going to get harassed about not being married, breaking up, taking a job, quitting college, etc, find your own clarity and sense of self about it first.\u00a0 If you\u2019re in a good place with yourself, it\u2019s much harder for someone to make it into an issue!\u00a0 Then figure out your calm phrase to neutralize whatever is thrown at you, like, \u201cI keep proposing to people but then they find out about you guys, and I never hear from them again!\u201d\u00a0 Make it humorous if you can.<\/p>

    On the subject,\u00a0not taking ourselves so seriously, and making things funny<\/strong>\u00a0is a fantastic way to travel smoothly through the rapids of any holiday gathering.<\/p><\/li>

  5. Plan your topic detours ahead of time.<\/strong>
    Never talk politics or religion, right?\u00a0 But then what do we talk about?\u00a0 The time you spend figuring out how to direct the people you know into conversations you know they will enjoy and be invested in\u2026 IS. WORTH. EVERYTHING.\u00a0 It becomes quickly evident to others when we are deeply interested in them\u2013and we love this.\u00a0 Try to find avenues of conversation that intersect your interests and theirs.\u00a0 Find ways to build others up authentically and naturally in your conversations.\u00a0 When people feel seen, understood and appreciated, they respond well.

    Even with people you agree with on the hot-button topics, discussing these topics doesn\u2019t really engender deep connection in the precious time we spend, and usually ends up leaving us feeling empty.\u00a0 Wouldn\u2019t it be better to know someone more deeply because we asked about their lives, their past, what they dream about or wish for, what\u2019s been hard for them (as we listen closely), what music they like, or movies\/series they saw recently.\u00a0 Being prepared with how to expertly direct the conversations to what make others feel connected and important is a game-winner!<\/p><\/li>

  6. Let go of the outcomes.\u00a0 I mean it.\u00a0 LET GO!<\/strong>
    When you choose to go and you know it is your choice, then you have to let go of whatever the outcomes are from going.\u00a0 It is amazing how much grief and drama are created because we walk into intimate gatherings with hidden expectations.\u00a0 When those expectations aren\u2019t met, we begin to have negative feelings of different kinds.\u00a0 It can be the difference between a neutral conversation about cranberry sauce and the cranberry sauce being the symbol of everything wrong with that person!\u00a0 Our expectations are the silent ninjas in our interactions, wreaking havoc on our peace of mind until we finally explode and cause real damage.

    Get clear on your expectations long before your gathering.\u00a0 Then take them apart one-by-one until you have no expectations when you go.\u00a0 This single step can change your entire experience\u2013and everyone else\u2019s\u2013for the better!<\/p><\/li>

  7. See the child in everyone.<\/strong>
    One of the magic games I play when I\u2019m out in the world is to\u00a0see the child<\/em>. Whether it is a homeless person, the cashier, my colleague, the aggravating customer service rep, or the people closest to me at a holiday gathering\u2026\u00a0 When I see the child, I instantly have a deeper understanding of the person I am looking at.\u00a0 This understanding can mean everything when we are confronting difficult relationship history, personality clashes, or people\u2019s choices we don\u2019t like.\u00a0 Seeing the child in another opens our heart.\u00a0 And from an understanding heart, we can find a way through even the most heartbreaking or frustrating moments in our holiday gatherings\u2013and in life     \"\"<\/a><\/li>
  8. Connect beforehand.<\/strong>
    If there\u2019s baggage and bad history with others you\u2019re going to see, chances are good they are expecting conflicts.\u00a0 If you reach out beforehand with simple positive texts, an email or two, or a quick little voice message that says you\u2019re really looking forward to seeing them and hearing what they\u2019ve been up to in their life, it can cause a subtle and crucial shift in expectations.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not afraid or upset about seeing them, it let\u2019s a lot of pressure off the meeting, right?!

    \u201cBut I don\u2019t feel that way, Carmell!\u00a0 I can\u2019t lie if that\u2019s not how I feel.\u201d\u00a0 Of course.\u00a0 So for myself, I have to practice forgiving our differences before I reach out.\u00a0 When you forgive their differences, you make it ok for each of you to be exactly yourselves.\u00a0 And a possible pathway forward to have a better experience is opened up.<\/p>

    An important note:\u00a0 This does not apply to situations where someone has violated you.\u00a0 You cannot forgive differences when this has occurred.\u00a0 A violation of our self is not the same as disagreeing on politics or someone not accepting another\u2019s sexual orientation.\u00a0 Instead, you should find what your healthiest boundary is\u2013particularly if it is not attending at all\u2013and honor that boundary for yourself.\u00a0 Your first responsibility is to your own safety and peace.<\/em><\/p><\/li>

  9. Plan<\/strong>time for yourself\u2013and hold to it.<\/strong>
    I love this one!\u00a0 It is a real game-changer.\u00a0 When you go to a holiday gathering whether a few hours or a few days, plan time for just you.\u00a0 When you know ahead of time that you are taking time for yourself while you\u2019re in a situation that could be challenging for you, you have automatically given yourself a healthy boundary.\u00a0 We can stay calmer, centered, clear-headed and good-humored when we pre-plan and then follow through with taking ourselves out of the situation, as planned, for periods of time.\u00a0 This is a classic self-soothing technique, and it works like freaking magic.

    A lovely little side benefit I\u2019ve found is that by taking that time for me, I automatically become an influence of calm, relaxed presence, fun, and careful listening for others\u2013which makes the whole experience smoother for everyone!<\/p><\/li>

  10. Be helpful where it\u2019s needed!<\/strong>
    There\u2019s a difference between nervous hovering and calm helping. Don\u2019t be helpful to try to avoid conflict.\u00a0 Rather, be helpful regardless of what the situations are.\u00a0 When you are showing up to help in real ways, small frustrations can be allayed, allowing everyone to have a smoother experience.\u00a0 For example, when I continually clean up the kitchen at my family reunions, the cleaner kitchen has a calming effect on all the family who are in and out of the kitchen making meals all day long.

    We can always watch and find ways to be helpful.\u00a0 Sometimes it is taking the \u2018problem person\u2019 into personal conversation so that others can have the wonderful connected conversation they want to have.\u00a0 Sometimes, it is being behind the scenes organizing so others feel more relaxed.\u00a0 Sometimes, it\u2019s running errands, or picking people up, or running a load of laundry, or seeing people warmly out the door so whoever\u2019s hosting can do what they need to do.\u00a0 Being helpful always creates a deeper calm, and opens more possibilities for real connection!<\/p>\"\"<\/a><\/li><\/ol>

    A last thought on this.\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0Everything I\u2019ve listed in my Top 10 is based in being honest and authentic with ourselves, and practicing showing up from our hearts.\u00a0 There have been a few times where I show with my best, and it\u2019s just bad.\u00a0 There\u2019s no shifting the direction of the river.\u00a0 And further, I\u2019ve felt it undermining my own peace and sense of self.\u00a0 You don\u2019t need to stay. It\u2019s always alright to quietly leave.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>

    Some \u201ctimes\u201d just aren\u2019t our times.\u00a0 Some groups just aren\u2019t our groups.\u00a0 Some situations just don\u2019t fit us, and we know we would be better being with ourselves than in that spot.\u00a0 Being honest and authentic with ourselves means honoring our own gut wisdom when something isn\u2019t right for us, without creating a story around it.<\/p>

    So before everything gets crazy, get clear on what you want your holidays to be for you.\u00a0 Describe them to yourself.\u00a0 Then make each decision based on fulfilling that clarity.\u00a0 Have the holiday moments and spaces that feed your soul in the best ways<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    It\u2019s the classic joke, isn\u2019t it.\u00a0 The relationship dramas that hit the headlines during holiday gatherings? \u201cThere are some things we can change, and some we can\u2019t,\u201d we tell ourselves.\u00a0 And even if we\u2019re not the praying type, we send up our desperate appeals to all the gods that may be, that this time will […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":8086,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[30],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBuilding Connection, not Conflict in Holiday Gatherings - Carmell Clark<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Building Connection, not Conflict in Holiday Gatherings - Carmell Clark\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s the classic joke, isn\u2019t it.\u00a0 The relationship dramas that hit the headlines during holiday gatherings? \u201cThere are some things we can change, and some we can\u2019t,\u201d we tell ourselves.\u00a0 And even if we\u2019re not the praying type, we send up our desperate appeals to all the gods that may be, that this time will […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Carmell Clark\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-11-20T20:13:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-12-29T20:24:29+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Picture5.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"384\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"257\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Lisa Berte\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/\",\"name\":\"Carmell Clark\",\"description\":\"Author . Life Artist . International Speaker\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Picture5.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Picture5.jpg\",\"width\":384,\"height\":257},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/\",\"name\":\"Building Connection, not Conflict in Holiday Gatherings - Carmell Clark\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2021-11-20T20:13:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-12-29T20:24:29+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#\/schema\/person\/1535c065b1f0e4b2f6ac003b7aadccbb\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Building Connection, not Conflict in Holiday Gatherings\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#\/schema\/person\/1535c065b1f0e4b2f6ac003b7aadccbb\",\"name\":\"Lisa Berte\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d69cc6c3ee93cf0f09d1a500d1e47c57?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d69cc6c3ee93cf0f09d1a500d1e47c57?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Lisa Berte\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/author\/lberte\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Building Connection, not Conflict in Holiday Gatherings - Carmell Clark","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Building Connection, not Conflict in Holiday Gatherings - Carmell Clark","og_description":"It\u2019s the classic joke, isn\u2019t it.\u00a0 The relationship dramas that hit the headlines during holiday gatherings? \u201cThere are some things we can change, and some we can\u2019t,\u201d we tell ourselves.\u00a0 And even if we\u2019re not the praying type, we send up our desperate appeals to all the gods that may be, that this time will […]","og_url":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/","og_site_name":"Carmell Clark","article_published_time":"2021-11-20T20:13:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-12-29T20:24:29+00:00","og_image":[{"width":384,"height":257,"url":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Picture5.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Lisa Berte","Est. reading time":"9 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#website","url":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/","name":"Carmell Clark","description":"Author . Life Artist . International Speaker","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en"},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#primaryimage","inLanguage":"en","url":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Picture5.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Picture5.jpg","width":384,"height":257},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#webpage","url":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/","name":"Building Connection, not Conflict in Holiday Gatherings - Carmell Clark","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2021-11-20T20:13:00+00:00","dateModified":"2021-12-29T20:24:29+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#\/schema\/person\/1535c065b1f0e4b2f6ac003b7aadccbb"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/building-connection-not-conflict-in-holiday-gatherings\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Building Connection, not Conflict in Holiday Gatherings"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#\/schema\/person\/1535c065b1f0e4b2f6ac003b7aadccbb","name":"Lisa Berte","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/carmellclark.com\/#personlogo","inLanguage":"en","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d69cc6c3ee93cf0f09d1a500d1e47c57?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/d69cc6c3ee93cf0f09d1a500d1e47c57?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Lisa Berte"},"url":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/author\/lberte\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8082"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8082"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8082\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8091,"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8082\/revisions\/8091"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8086"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8082"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8082"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carmellclark.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8082"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}