| LOCATION: in the garden at my bungalow in Amed, Bali overlooking the Java Sea |

“Slowly… slowly.”

They tell me this in Bahasa with careful caring eyes as I “jalan jalan”–journey.

It is significantly more work to cultivate and practice simplicity than it is to “acquire and fill up” our time and space.

Simplicity requires slowing down.

When I came to Amed last year, I was healing the intensity of a powerhouse year. It worked wonderfully.

I make a practice in my life of “not going back,” though.

So as I came to Amed today, I had wondered all along why I was coming again to where I’d already been.

Met by the staff at my bungalow with the love and greeting of long-missed family, and frangipani flowers arrayed on my bed in a giant fragrant yellow heart with pink blossoms spelling Welcome in the middle. I was awash with joy in their bursting smiles.

It was a few hours later that I felt… what?

Sitting on the crisp white sheets now, careful to not disturb the sweet flower heart that takes up half the bed, I stare out into the garden, sounds of geckos and frogs calling in the early evening. It is the deep quiet that catches me. Without trying, everything has slowed. I’ve slowed. Sitting amidst the simple life not fixated on squaring every corner, fixing every pothole, or enforcing mosquito-free zones.

Even the wifi is down tonight, reassuring me that life is securely beyond my control as always, and it is time to Let Go, Carmell.

I get the clear sense in only a few hours here, that I have not come back, but rather returned after my initiation.

I am ready for a deeper silence this time. A measured clarity of my life as it is now. Being schooled in balance and discipline between the water that flows over and through every part of life here, and the lava running a constant fire beneath my feet from the moment I stepped foot on this island.

I’m right here.


Recommended Posts