The Case of the Self-Doubting Diva

At a training I gave years ago, our ‘self-doubting diva’ had passionately shared her dream of starting a wellness retreat center for women.  But she was very stuck then.  She showed up to various of my webinars and mini-masterclass recordings over the years.  Then suddenly, one day, during the launch of my flagship Core Self Discovery program, I received her registration confirmation email.

I was thrilled to have her join me.  I later found out what had precipitated her unexpected leap into deep transformational waters.  She had lost her job of many years.  More to the point, she had been fired.  The effects on her were so devastating that she later shared with me that she had contemplated ending her life.

Every day she bounced between her anger, feelings of worthlessness, and paralyzing fear for her future.  When she saw my invitation in her email, she took a real leap.

What she couldn’t see then was that she had finally “un-stuck” herself.  That her greater dreams and goals were at last moving forward.  

But her head was still caught in the midst of this terrifying day-to-day of unknowns–the perfect feeding ground for all of her fears.

When we started the Core Self Discovery work together, she wanted to break free of her fears and her stories and feel good again.  The problem was that she was still holding onto so much anger and the need to control everything.  Her entire life paradigm needed to change.  She had been giving excuses for so long–excuses to not take the real risks in her life and go after her dreams–that she didn’t remember how to be her true self and call out her excuses for the B.S. that they were.  

That’s why she had been so disempowered, self-doubting and asleep for so many years.

What she discovered in our group was the safest space she’d ever experienced.  And in that space, everyone–including herself–was able to begin challenging the excuses, the fears, the painful life experiences and the [untrue] stories that they had each been carrying around.  All the reasons each of us get stuck at times.

Back to our Heroine-in-training…  She realized pretty quickly that all her answers [read: excuses] that seemed legit and reasonable had zero value in our laser-coaching.  They couldn’t withstand the truths that were already inside of her–and she came to know this clearly and quickly.

That’s when it started to get really good.  She began listening to her heart intelligence and her gut wisdom.  She took some pretty big leaps and risks in the coming months–toward what she most wanted.  And wouldn’t you know it?  Things began changing for her quickly.  

She’d always been “the person you can count on to get the job done.”  So she learned the differences between her being accountable to others but not to herself, and her being radically responsible to herself first and then having healthy boundaries in her accountability with others.

She learned to see all the emotional blackmail that was happening in her marriage and family relationships–and she stopped it.  She took back her own truth, and consequently, her real power.

She began a new career that was her passion at the same time that she landed a job that paid her almost twice what she’d been making before–  Remember, she was the change that needed to happen.

She learned through the Core Self work how to show up beautifully to herself for the life she knew she wanted.  She learned to listen and to trust her own intuition.  And she learned to take hold of the responsibility and the power of validating herself–instead of relying on others to prove her worth.

If it sounds too good to be true, it is not.

It is definitely some hard work.  But as you can see, it paid off immeasurably!  

This is exactly the whole intention of doing the Core Self work.  I call it developing our own Sovereignty in our lives.  We know sovereignty in someone when we see it because of their confidence, their warmth and generosity, their being quite comfortable in their own skin, unconcerned and unafraid of what others will think of them.  

It’s the magic combo for each of us bringing our unique gifts and presence into the world.

A word of caution:  This work is not casual.  It doesn’t let you off the hook of yourself.  It is totally focused on the greatest expression of who you are right now in your life.  That doesn’t need to look like any huge accomplishment or position of authority.  It is exactly you, knowing yourself and accepting yourself–and pursuing what your inner wisdom and passion are directing you to do.

If you’d like to rediscover your Core Self, these are a few ways I can support you: 

  1. Take the Self-Acceptance Assessment
  2. Join my free online community at The Center for Transformational Influence 
  3. Schedule a free 30 minute Discovery-Strategy session to discuss your biggest challenge and my recommendations for moving through it. 

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